Date: 2009-09-07 08:23 am (UTC)
To add, for those of you following along here but not twitter, Lauredhel and I had a little discussion about the question of 'resilience'. The terminology is often used in relation to bullying, to effectively situate the problem as lying with the bullied child, rather than the bullier. A child is meant to develop 'resilience' in order to 'cope' with the therefore-perfectly-okay bullying. The idea, basically, is that the bullied child ought to be more normal, so they don't get bullied. I think you can probably see how this fits in with the model I'm talking about.

What's interesting about this use of resilience is that although it's *supposedly* about an ability to negotiate a variety of different contexts successfully, in the end it tends to be more about falling in with the status quo: i.e., bullies aren't told they need to be more resilient, rather than getting angry/violent/abusive with those who are different.

In fact, I'd speculate that bullying fits fairly clearly with the idea that one ought not to have to experience anything different from the norm; that is, the bullies are often learning the lessons about difference being threatening or traumatic in ways they ought not to have to experience, taught them by their parents and teachers, just a little too well, and with such a profound sense of entitlement as to enforce the world working the way they think it ought. But it's probably a teensy bit more complex than that ;-)
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